Now and then
Now and then somebody calls at the old chapel.
Searching, – for solitude, tranquillity, history or more likely – ancestors.
As they make their way up the ancient flagstone path they wonder whether they’re walking in the footsteps of their long dead relatives.
Is this the way that their great grandparents walked to their wedding? Were they nervous? Filled with joy, or trepidation? Who else has walked along this path?
How many grieving families have felt these stones under their feet, as they’ve laid their loved ones to rest under the rows of slate and granite memorials, – ranged haphazardly today – some standing upright and straight, others lurching and leaning, clinging to the earth beneath them. Is this a reflection of their character when they too walked this way, in life?
Who was it back then who carved the names with such great care on to these loving memorial stones?
Who spoke the words of comfort, hope and inspiration from this simple wooden pulpit?
Whose hobnail boots left their scars on the pews?
Who was it that dressed these stones? Laid them carefully in interlocking rows to create a whole?
What storms have these walls withstood? How many times have they been battered, – by external tempests, or witnessed conflict within this space?
They think that they might like to come here again. Maybe to worship. When I have more time, when the weather is better, when my frantic life schedule permits it, -whenever.
For now, I shall sit here quietly, in this sacred space; a sanctuary, where it feels like it is enough to simply be. Feeling too that I am not alone, comforted by an invisible presence, knowing that the ties that run through the generations, through space and time, bind us together and keep us safe. Is this what they mean when they say that we are held by the power of love? Is this God? or whatever name we may choose to call this divine connection? Is it really this simple?
I watch the dust motes dancing in the shaft of sunlight to some secret rhythm and I am with them, – of them. Dancing alongside while my soul sings with joy, and love, and all that makes life good.
The stones hear my song and see my dance, and gently absorb them, holding and protecting them within, just like the skeletons of the long-ago creatures encased and hidden in their centres. Adding to the riches that echo through the ages. Now, I too am part of these stones. Held with love, -forever. Within the stones there is no now, there is no then, or when. Within these stones there is – eternity.
***
Yr Hen Gapel
Weithiau bydd rhyw rai’n galw yn yr hen gapel bach, i chwilio am lonyddwch, am heddwch, neu’n aml iawn am wreiddiau. Wrth ddringo’r grisiau cerrig a dilyn y llwybr hynafol, mi fyddant yn meddylu – pwy arall sydd wedi cerdded fan hyn? Ai’r ffordd hyn fyddai’n gyndeidiau wedi troedio? Efallai i’w priodas……Beth oedd yn eu calonnau’r diwrnod hynny? Cynnwrf? Nerfusrwydd? Llawenydd, neu ofid?
Faint o deuluoedd mewn galar sydd wedi teimlo’r llwybr yma dan eu traed wrth osod eu hanwyliaid yn y ddaear gysegredig yma? I orwedd mewn heddwch o dan y llechi cerfiedig a fu unwaith yn rhesi trefnus ond erbyn hyn yn gwyro i’r dde, i’r chwith, ond eto’n gadarn. Pwy gerfiodd yr enwau mor dyner i’w cadw mewn cof?
Pwy gynigodd y geiriau o gysur, o anogaeth ac o obaith o’r pulpud pren syml?
Sgidiau hoelion pwy adawodd y creithiau ar y corau?
Pwy osododd gerrig y muriau yn ofalus, rhes ar ben rhes i greu cyfanrwydd?
Pa stormydd mae’r muriau yma wedi eu gwrthsefyll? Sawl drycin naturiol sydd wedi siglo’r seiliau? Neu efallai mai ymryson ffyrnig fewnol fu’r bygythiad mwyaf?
Meddyliant wrth eu hunain – efallai y byddem yn hoffi dod fan hyn eto, efallai i addoli – pan fydd mwy o amser, pan fydd y tywydd yn well, pan fydd prysurdeb fy mywyd bod dydd yn caniatáu – rhywbryd, efallai.
Ond am nawr, eisteddaf yn dawel, yn y man cysegredig yma, noddfa lle mae’n teimlo nad oes angen gwneud dim ond bodoli. Teimlo nad wyf ar ben fy hun, derbyn cysur wrth ryw bresenoldeb anweledig, gwybod bod y llinynnau sy’n rhedeg rhwng y cenedlaethau, rhwng amser a gofod yn ein clymu at ein gilydd a’n cadw’n ddiogel. Ai dyma maen nhw’n feddwl wrth ddweud ein bod yn cael ein cynnal gan bŵer cariad? Ai Duw yw hyn? Neu pa bynnag enw a ddefnyddiwn am y cysylltiad dwyfol yma? Ydy e mor syml â hyn?
Gwyliaf y dwst yn dawnsio i ryw rythm cudd yn yr heulwen, ac ymunaf a hwynt – yn rhan ohonynt, heb symud o’r fan. ‘Rwy’n rhan o’r ddawns, yn dawnsio tra bod fy enaid yn llawenhau, yn canu am lawenydd, am gariad a phob daioni sy’n gwneud bywyd yn werth ei fyw.
Fe glyw’r meini fy nghan ac fe welant fy nawns, a’u cymryd yn dyner, dyner i mewn iddynt, i’w dal a’u gwarchod, fel y sgerbydau o’r creaduriaid bychan fu farw flynyddoedd maith yn ôl, sydd nawr yn gudd a’n ddiogel o fewn y meini. Yn ychwanegu at y trysorau sy’n atsain trwy’r oesoedd. Nawr, ‘rwyf innau yn rhan o’r meini. Yn cael fy nghadw trwy gariad – am byth.
O fewn y meini yma nid oes heddiw, ddoe, yfory, na “phan fydd”. O fewn y meini yma ceir -tragwyddoldeb.
If you'd like to use this material…
Worship Words Licence
YOU ARE FREE TO:
– copy and redistribute the material in any medium or format.
– adapt, change and build upon the material for any purpose.
The licensor cannot revoke these freedoms as long as you follow the licence terms.
UNDER THE FOLLOWING TERMS:
You must give appropriate credit in a reasonable manner. This means naming the author (if supplied), stating the title of the work (if supplied), and indicating if changes were made. This will not be in a way that suggests the author endorses you or your use.
You may not apply terms that restrict others from sharing the material in a way that the licence permits.
NOTES:
You do not have to comply with the licence for elements of the material in the public domain or where your use is permitted by an applicable exception or limitation.
No warranties are given, the licence may not give you all of the permissions necessary for your intended use. For example, other rights such as publicity, privacy, or moral rights may limit how you use the material.