‘Trust is something that must be earned’ is a common phrase, but if we expect others to earn our trust, we place the responsibility on them. We only take responsibility for ourselves when we give trust freely.
For me, trust is something that must be learned. This lesson has not been easy for me. My subconscious brain learned, through experiencing childhood trauma, that the only person I could trust was me. And so I became extremely self-reliant. If I ask for help, I place my trust in others and risk disappointment.
To mitigate against my anxiety, which is fear of the unknown, I spent much of my life trying to keep myself safe by trying to plan every tiny detail. But complete control is an illusion. Life is chaotic. Change is the only certainty.
Unitarianism does not give you answers, but rather supports you as you ask the questions. As I step into faith, I step into trust. I let go of the need to be in control of every little detail. I embrace the Great Mystery. It is a relief not have to try to understand everything or to want to know exactly how things are going to work out. I am able to give trust freely, not knowing whether it will be repaid.
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